“The people of Islonia are generous, easy going, happy, talkative and sociable. This may explain why so few have held down full time jobs or ever been on time.”

Local Goods

Islonia is a great place to pick up a bargain provided you know what to look for, as long as you are shopping for crustaceans or abstract paintings. Although long known for its shellfish, the paintings have only started to appear in the last few years. Upon appraisal most are captivated by their childlike mystique, although some critics say they “look like they were knocked out at Gaelic nursery this morning.” Either way, they are totally unique.



Islonians are at their happiest entertaining friends or parting visitors from Euros. If you get the chance do try some of the local food, for example the shelfish or the local venison dish “Rodecil.” Although do look out for phantom charges such as ‘use of pepper grinder’ or ‘walking on decking.’


It is of course traditional to do the creel boat trip from Islonia. The aim being to fish in UK waters and return with some catch before being caught by the Royal Navy. The economy in recent years has become more reliant on tourism and fishing and less on coffee, sugar and rum. As well as the usual seals, otter and various birds dotted about its coast, you might also see the Islonian dolphin. This rare and beautiful creature is very similar to the common dolphin, only it has a darker colour and slightly saltier taste.